And Brooks continues discussing the ways that love reorients in the soul, in what may be the best few pages of the book.
First, love humbles us. "Love is like an invading army that reminds you that you are not master of your own house." "Love is a surrender. You expose your deepest vulnerabilities and give up your illusions of self-mastery."
Love "decenters the self." "A person in love finds that the ultimate riches are not inside, they are out there, in the beloved and in the sharing of a destiny with the beloved."
"Love infuses people with a poetic temperament." Love is not utilitarian. "To be in love is to experience hundreds of small successive feelings that you never quite experienced in that way before." "Love is submission, not decision."
"Love opens up the facility for spiritual awareness. It is an altered state of consciousness."
"Love impels people to service." "In no other commitment are people so likely to slip beyond the logic of self-interest and unconditional commitments that manifest themselves in daily acts of care."
I have always spoken of how marriage is a spiritual discipline, and I experience parenthood as such as well. Being a dad has done more to make me a better person than anything I've ever done precisely because it is the one thing that most aggressively works against my own self-interest.