All of my blog posts the last couple of weeks have been about what we are currently doing in the process. I'm glad I'm more focused on the positive present than the complications of the past. But, I still want to tell that story. When I left off, I was complaining about fostering not meeting our expectations of hoping to adopt.
My next problem with the private agencies that run Nebraska's foster system is the lack of information before a placement. When they first call you they give you a little information, and you can ask any questions you want. Sometimes the agent calling you has the information and sometimes they don't. If they can, they do track it down.
But, you really don't get enough information. Maybe over time, if I fostered a lot, I'd learn what all specific questions to ask, but for a first-timer we were so excited to get the chance that we didn't ask as much as we should have.
Nine months later, discussing this with one professional who worked on our case, she said that there is a vested interest in not giving you all the information and not being clear about the problems a child might be facing, because there is such pressure to get children placed in a home. The social workers are desperate because of the regulations governing placement and the complete lack of shelters and group homes (almost all of which have closed because of negative changes in the system). She said that the social workers themselves are not intentionally trying to deceive or manipulate, but it is the nature of the system.
One of the things we were told was that the bad behavior previously exhibited was "situational" and would change with us taking an affirming approach. This ended up being completely false.
This lack of information is further complicated once the child is placed with you. Despite the tons of paperwork that waste your time, energy, and sanity (more on that later), there is not good information that comes with the child. One might expect this for a child first entering the system, but for one who has been in the system for over two years, there ought to be good documentation and easily passes from one placement to the next.
It took us weeks and months to track down information on physicians, optometrists, dentists, etc. Some of it we never got and just made new arrangements. Nor was there adequate information about schooling. Sitting in parent-teacher meetings later, we were learn things from the teachers reading his file which would have been good for us to know. Nor was there adequate information on his background. We primarily had to rely upon what he told us.
When he passed on from us, I typed up a list of all his medical and other professionals, their contact information, all scheduled appointments, etc. We passed along detailed information on his medication. And, I made sure that his school schedule and other relevant information also was forwarded. But there was no form or folder or digital file that was standard for doing this. Again, despite the half-dozen or more forms that had to be submitted every month. Completely, ridiculous.
-- Scott
